Beauty

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting.
Charles Kingsley

I have done my fair share of wishing the winter weather away this year . . . too frigid . . . too gloomy. Yet, at times breathtakingly beautiful. . .

Tonight as I passed by my front window with a glance outside, a rare sight compelled me to stop. The foot of snow in our yard has a thin covering of crystalline ice, courtesy of the recent freezing rainstorm.  The ice-encased snow is truly breathtaking glistening in the evening glow of streetlights.  Having lived in a mountainous area my entire life, I have seen snow so frequently that I am not often taken in by the beauty of it. But just because I do not typically stop to notice its beauty doesn't mean it isn't there. The icy covering on the snow gave it a uniquely captivating look, making me take notice.  Truthfully, however, snow is always beautiful.  It is just easy to overlook this when focusing on the cold, the dark skies, and for me the fear of driving on slick roads.

The quick moment I took to absorb the beautiful scene outside reminded me that I could apply the beauty of the snow to life as well.  Even though at times life may feel overwhelming, or dark, or scary -  there is always beauty to be found.  It is up to us to take notice.   Beauty is always there.

Winter Fun

Yesterday we had a freak freezing rain storm here in my hometown.  Everything was covered in a layer of ice and the roads and sidewalks were treacherous.  I decided that it would be a great day to wear high-heeled boots. 

Yesterday also happened to be a day that I needed to stop by my parents house to retrieve something.  My parents house sits at the top of a fairly steeply sloped driveway. . . Do you see where I am going with this?

So I park on their driveway, no problem.  Once I got out of the car, that's when the problem started.  Because they are out of town and not home to care for their property, their driveway was an ice skating rink.  Seriously.  And high-heeled boots and steeply sloped ice skating rinks are a recipe for disaster.  I could not even stand up on their driveway.  The moment my feet left the car I was holding on to the side view mirror for dear life as my feet shot out in different directions.  There was no way I was going to make it up that driveway in one piece.

UNTIL.  I had the brilliant idea to get down on my hands and knees and CRAWL up their driveway.  It worked, but it wasn't pretty.  And  it was cold.  And about 10 cars happened to pass by to witness the scene (and I think I saw the neighbors peaking through the curtains too).  That's when I decided it was time to move to Arizona.  Or Texas.  Even if the summers are unbearable and they have scorpions. 

Yes it was a pretty embarrassing part of my day.  (Almost as embarrassing as when I sent my sister-in-law an email that was clearly intended for my husband earlier this month.)   But at least I was wearing cute boots during my moment of humiliation!

On another note, today it warmed up enough to turn the thick layer of snow and ice that's been covering our driveway all month into slushy snow and ice.  So guess what I did.  Got the shovel out and had fun hacking up the icy snow and throwing it in a pile.  Seriously, I discovered that I kind of enjoy shoveling icy snow. As long as it's close to 40 degrees outside and not 10 below. It's a good tension reliever.   I liked it so much that I did it twice.  Once for the first layer and later for the second layer (yes it was really that packed).  So what I'm thinking is that because I also worked out first thing this morning (yay me!) I can count myself as getting in all three workouts for my resolutions done in one day. . . or maybe not.

Resolutions



I have always been a great New Years resolutions maker, but not necessarily the best New Years resolutions keeper.  Not the worst. . . but certainly not the best!  So this year I came up with a new plan (after reading The Happiness Project, I should add).  Instead of making yearly goals, I would make monthly goals.   I then made an Excel spreadsheet to review and check off each night before bed.  The idea was that by reviewing my goals every day and holding myself accountable with the chart that I would keep the goals better.  I was even accommodating enough to coerce my husband into making some goals and setting up a chart for him (he was thrilled).  Sounds like a great plan, right? 

Well it was a great PLAN, but that plan was derailed the first week of the month when I was deathly ill with influenza.  And when I say deathly ill I mean that I was giving my husband directions that if I were not to make it he should definitely remarry (but that he needed to make sure that his new wife was thoroughly approved of by our first grade daughter because I didn't want her to have a life like Cinderella before Prince Charming. Yes, I have always been a bit on the dramatic side.  Why do you ask?)   Anyhow, as I was saying, me and my plan kind of got off on the wrong foot. 

(By the way, I am using the words resolutions / goals interchangeably, but I also learned in  The Happiness Project that they are actually different.  Goals have an achievable end while resolutions are something that can be worked on indefinitely.   For instance, running a marathon would be a goal, while exercising every day would be a resolution.  I just thought that was  an interesting tidbit to throw out there.)

Part of the problem with my resolutions is that I think I made too many of them.  I made seven when it would probably be easier to focus on them if I had only made 3 or 4.  Also, not to use the weather as an excuse, but I am going to use the weather as an excuse.  This January has been the most BLAH month I can even remember.   Three words:  freezing cold  and inversion.  These three words mean that it is really hard for me to be motivated.  Who feels like getting up early enough to exercise when the air is as thick as soup and the tears in your eyes freeze over?  Even when you're inside.  OK.  So I am admitting that I have been just plain lazy this month (after getting over being sick).   But in an effort to finish the last week of the month off on a stronger note, I am going to be brave and list my resolutions for all to see.  Then I'll let you know how I do and set some new ones for February.

So here goes.
1 - Exercise at least 3 times per week.  So a year ago when I was working out consistently nearly every day this one would not have been a problem and would have even been a wimpy goal. But then I had a crazy, messed up year last year and my exercising got off track. In fact, I had some health issues where I wasn't even allowed to work out for a few months. Then when I was allowed to again it was the holidays.  Which brings us to January and it's yuckiness.  So 3 times a week seemed like a good place to start.  And I am happy to say that now that I am feeling better I actually have been doing this.  Not more than the minimum, but at least something. Once I get in the habit it becomes second nature.  Still waiting for that to hit!

2 - Go to bed by 10 PM.  I think that I have done this maybe twice.   The point was that when I am more rested I am less grumpy, more motivated, and life just seems to go better. (Also, I would be able to get up and exercise before the kids were up.)  But it is just so hard to get to bed that early.  I am recommitting right now (as I type this post at 10:15).

3 - Control my temper.   I found myself nagging my family too often and maybe getting upset more than was warranted at times.  I hated the fact that in the morning I felt like I was spending my time getting after people to hurry up because they were going to be late instead of giving them a calm, warm and motherly send-off.  So, I decided to work on keeping calm and biting my tongue when I feel like nagging or ordering or complaining (or yelling).  Actually, I have done pretty well with this one overall (considering the fact that it is hard to feel as happy when the sky is filled with poison), but not so much today. . . Oh well, tomorrow is a new day.  That's the beauty of a resolution. . . you can keep working on it as long as its needed.

4 - Hug each member of my family daily.  This one seems like it would occur naturally, but when I thought about how I could show more love to my family, I realized that there were plenty of days where hugs weren't being given.  My three year old is in a really affectionate stage with me (my brother-in-law referenced the Oedipus complex, in fact) so he gets about 50 hugs a day from me, and my daughter always gets a hug goodbye in the morning and a hug goodnight. However, D-man, the nine year old, is not very affectionate and so I realized that there were days where he was getting skipped on the hugging.  AND, sad to say, there were actually days when we were in a particular rush where my husband himself was getting skipped on the hugs goodbye (and some nights he gets home after I've gone to bed which means he wasn't getting any hugs from me on those days).   I feel that a good hug can show love in ways that words just can't so I wanted to make doubly sure that I was hugging everyone in my family every day.  I better go and hug the husband right now and then I think I'll be good for today!

5 - Study/ prepare each day for my Sunday school Lesson.  I have the great privilege of teaching Sunday school to the teenagers at my church.  It is a daunting task so I decided that I could help myself be more prepared by studying each day instead of procrastinating to the night before as I often did last year.  So, I have been doing a bit better at this (especially at the first of the month), but it is not happening every single day.  The whole January thing again . . .

6 - Complete a daily household organizational task 5 times a week.   I did clean out my fridge one day and a kitchen cabinet the next . . . And I managed to take the Christmas decorations down and return them to their storage in the garage.  But somehow I don't think that averages out to 5 tasks per week.  The whole lazy thing  caused by the January thing. . .

7 - Limit personal computer time to 1 hour per day max.  You know, so I can get some household organizational tasks accomplished.   OK.   This one has been a challenge. I seriously did not realize how much time I was spending each day checking my email, emailing my husband back and forth, working on the blogs, and reading the news (and YES, checking Facebook).  I have kept this resolution a whopping 2 times so far this month.  In fact, I violated it today just by typing this post. 

Which means, I had better get off the computer and get to bed (now that I have already missed the 10 o'clock goal!)

Anyone have any great goals / resolutions tips?  It appears I need some help!

Words

Write while the heat is in you. … The writer who postpones the recording of his thoughts uses an iron which has cooled to burn a hole with.
—Henry David Thoreau

 

 

Sometimes I skip writing because I simply have nothing to say.  My brain is like Death Valley in July and incinerates all of the words. . . also the desire. 

 

Other times I do not write because the words are flooding my mind until my head is bursting and I am simply too overwhelmed to know where to begin to alleviate the pressure. 

 

This second excuse is the reason for my current absence from the blog. After my week of influenza I had so much to say that I didn't know what say.  It's a troubling dilemma for sure. 

 

But then I read the above quote from Mr. Thoreau and I realized that I just needed to write something and the rest would fall into place.  With this realization came a bit of lamentation over the lost words.  Words that were thought but never set down.  Words that have since been turned to irretrievable dust. . . .or have floated away into the vast ocean of my brain and are now indistinguishable from the other lost words.  I have an entire lifetime of lost words. . .  also of lost opportunities.  For I believe Thoreau's quote can be applied to life in general.  Especially to inspiration we receive that we push aside and either never act on, or act on half-heartedly or too late. 

 

I don't want to spend my life losing words and opportunities.  I want to resolve to strike while the iron is hot.  Before it's too hot that my words are swept away in the dry wind of life and I have nothing left to say. 



Seriously?

On the day before Christmas break, my 4th grader, I'll call him  D-Man, brought home a paper detailing a science assignment he needed to complete.  The assignment - to create a rock collection, neatly organized and labeled.  The rock collection must include at least four rocks in each of the three major rock categories. Oh, and they have to be rocks that the students dig up and find themselves.

Sounds like a pretty typical fourth grade science assignment, right?  Except for one thing - it's the middle of freaking winter!  There is a deep layer of ice and snow covering everything outside and most days are maxing out at around 20 degrees Fahrenheit.  Not exactly rock collecting weather!

So in typical me fashion, I kept putting off helping D-Man with his project, in hopes that the weather would warm up a bit and the snow will melt.  Well, that is not happening; today is the coldest day yet, and the assignment is due on Monday when he returns to school.

With a last minute sigh, I just forced my very reluctant husband out the door with our son, and a shovel, and the paper outlining the project.  They are heading up the canyons to try and find a rock collecting gold mine under the layers of snow, while I am sitting in my cozily warm home typing this.  I realize  how generous this sounds of me, but I do have a good excuse.  I am sick with the worst sore throat and laryngitis of my life (which is now turning into an annoying cough). Quite honestly, I would rather be healthy and outside digging up rocks right now than be feeling like this . . . maybe.  Then again, maybe not.  It is mighty cold out there. 

Seriously, fourth grade teachers?  We couldn't find a better time of year than JANUARY to launch a rock collecting assignment?    This could have been such a fun assignment that we could have used for some memorable family outings.  Not so fun when you can't see through the frost covering your eyeballs and you can't feel your fingers move.

Someone needs to put a bug in the teachers' ears before next year's fourth graders become unsuspecting victims of this cruel and unusual assignment.  Also, someone needs to remind me to get a flu vaccine next year . . .

OK. I'm done venting.  For the sake of my son I'll go back to pretending that extracting rocks from ice is a completely normal activity.

Seriously?

On the Blog Title

Egotism - usually just a case of mistaken nonentity.

Barbara Stanwyck

Thinking my blog title sounds a little self-important, perhaps even egotistical?  Yeah; me too.  I have never been very good at coming up with titles. Whether it be for posts, thesis papers . . . or blogs, my creative abilities do not encompass the ability to conjure up good titles.  So when I came up with a few good ideas for a title for the blog, I was exceedingly proud of myself.  Then came the thud of landing back on earth when I realized I was not as creative as I thought.  Those blog titles were all taken.  Someone had already come up with those ideas for a blog long before I did.  And my next set of ideas.  And the next.  Until, finally, I typed THIS title in and it was free.  So I pounced and snatched it up, even at the risk of sounding self-important. Or egotistical.

In all actuality, the title was one of last resorts and desperation.

So they say that blogs are going the way of the dinosaur, or, more aptly, the way of the flip phone.  I still unabashedly use a flip phone, so  I guess that it is fitting that I would also decide to start a new blog.

Why am I starting a new blog?  I already have one, why would I need another?

1 - Because I like to find ways to waste time that I can disguise as looking productive.

2 - Because my other blog is a private family journal.  I don't do the whole scrapbooking thing, and I am terrible at keeping my picture albums up to date, so that blog is my way of documenting my family before too much time slips away and I forget everything.  I always find it so sad when I try to talk to my husband's mother about him when he was growing up because she doesn't remember much and she didn't document it.  Granted, she had six kids in about a 10 year span.  That would make finding time to document a challenge, and the remembering part would be a blur for anyone.  But I vowed that when my kids grew up they would have a record of what they did and who they were as babies and children. Anyway, my point is that my other blog has a definite purpose and sometimes I want to write something that doesn't conform to that purpose.

3 - Maybe this is is my unconscious attempt to try and make my little mark on the world.

4 - I have attempted many times to keep a regular personal journal, and have failed every time.  I am hoping that this might be a more appealing way to keep myself writing down my observations, experiences, thoughts, and feelings.

5 - Because writing makes me happy.  I have always loved writing and have even had times in  my life when I thought that maybe I would be a Writer.  I have even been told a time or two that I don't stink at it  (I was going to say "suck" but then remembered that we have outlawed that word in our house and I must set the example!) (And if you read my blog you will find that I have never met a parentheses that I didn't like.)
I am currently in the middle of reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. In the book the author begins a blog as part of year-long project to achieve optimal happiness.  Reading this spurred on my decision. I have thought for a while that I might like to have a second blog.  But I worried that it might seem vain of me to think that anyone might actually want to read what I have to say.  Well, this book is helping me to realize that I should do things that make me happy for ME, not because of what other people think.  If I am happier, then I will be better equipped to make those around me happier as well. So I am starting this blog because it makes ME happy to do so, even if no one else ever reads anything I write on here.

6 - So that I can stop littering Facebook with long-winded posts that no one on there cares about.  Now I can put them here instead!

7 - New year, new blog.

Basically, this blog will be for whatever I feel like writing about.  Just like life, the focus will be varied.  Sometimes it may seem to go on forever, and sometimes it may be over too quickly.  Sometimes I may post every day; sometimes I may not have much to say for a while.  Sometimes it will be succinct; sometimes my focus may ramble.  This is my place to write what I feel like, when I feel like it. 

Sometimes when I write I find myself with a certain audience in mind and I try to slant my words to please that audience.  My goal with this blog is to not have an audience in mind other than myself.  I feel that this will allow me to be the most honest in my writing and to more truly represent Life as I Know It.